Rowdy Roddy Piper

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"The Hot Rod" Rowdy Roddy Piper has said he's fought a record 7,000 matches as a pro and was the youngest pro wrestler, at age 15. He at one time wrestled 91 nights with no days off.Piper has appeared in more than 30 movies and is the co-author of a book, "In the Pit With Piper: Roddy Gets Rowdy," referring to his "Piper's Pit" segment on World Wrestling Federation TV.

Rowdy Roddy Piper Quotes 

"I've been around the world seven times," Piper once said, "been stabbed three times, been down in an airplane and once dated the Bearded Lady. I've had Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy as a tag-team partner. I've been in 30 car crashes, none of 'em my fault, I swear on a stack of midgets. . . . OK, they were probably all my fault."

"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all outta bubblegum."

"Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions."

"Real men wear kilts."

"You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!"

"I am your reality check!"

"Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling."

"I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair!"

"Russia gives us Nikolai Volkoff, and we give them MTV and 2 Live Crew. Fair trade, huh?"

"Nature Boy, what's that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?"

"Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!"

"Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry women, he's still a fox."

"I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me."

"I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am."

"Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well how does it feel to get beat by a woman?"

"I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark!"

"When you were young did your mommy and daddy place the swing too close to the wall?"

"Your stupidity is something you're born with."

"The boss is back."

"My name is Rowdy Roddy Piper and you ain't seen nothing yet!"

Put it in your hand, brother!"

"I WAS ROWDY BEFORE ROWDY WAS COOL! HAA!!"

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.
 
I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!
  
You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!
 
Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!
 
Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?
  
Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.
  
I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.
   
Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?
   
He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!
   
Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.
  
My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.
 
Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?
   
Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.
 
Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.
 
Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?
 
He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers...
  
Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?